That first year is a steep learning curve for new parents. If you want to get ahead of the game then see baby sleep mistakes are the ones to avoid in the first 12 months!
We all know that sleep is probably the number one thing that most new parents struggle with after welcoming a baby.
And it seems like the entire world – even people without kids of their own – has an opinion on how you can get your baby to sleep for longer at night and take better naps.
So how do you navigate the sleepless first year with your baby?
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Baby sleep mistakes to avoid
Follow this ultimate guide to the baby sleep pitfalls to avoid. You’ll get far more sleep, and most importantly be far less stressed.
1. Missing the sleep cues
One of the key ways to help your baby settle easier and take decent naps is to avoid them becoming overtired.
You can do this by watching for their sleep cues – the signs that they are becoming overtired.
Those signs are:
- Staring off into space
- Losing interest in people and toys
- Rubbing eyes
- Yawning
- Decreased movement or jerky movements
- Becoming agitated
- Crying
By observing your baby’s sleep cues, and timing how long from when they wake to when they start to show this signs of tiredness, you can work out your baby’s wake window.
That’s the length of time they can stay awake before needing a nap to prevent overtiredness.
2. Skipping a bedtime routine
A nightly bedtime routine is a simple way to send a signal to your baby it’s time for bed.
This is a chance for them to wind down towards a good night’s sleep.
Think about it like this. When you go to bed you don’t just lay down and switch off immediately. You’re maybe going to read a book, watch a little TV, changing into your PJs, take off your make-up and moisturise.
Whatever you do, it’s not just bedtime, lights out.
With your baby it’s the same thing. It’s even more important because you’re also sending your baby a signal about the change between day and night. This will continue to be important when they are toddlers and even older.
A bedtime routine is simple, and can just involve:
- A bath
- Changing nappy
- Reading a short story
- A milk feed in their bedroom – quietly with the lights turned down low
- Tucking them into bed and leaving them to settle to sleep
3. Avoiding sleep aids
There are tons of warnings issued to parents about babies becoming overly attached to pacifiers, being rocked to sleep or napping in their pushchair.
Having used all of these things to help with sleep in the first year and now being a parent of two kids over six I can report that it has made zero difference to their sleep now.
Sleep aids do not become long-term props. They can be something that helps you through a trying period so that everyone in the house can get better sleep.
Then at an appropriate stage you can wean baby off them. Removing the dummy from my eldest daughter was not an issue, I think because we did it before age one.
And neither has expected to be held to sleep since they were one.
Don’t let the warnings about “making a rod for your back” put you off reaching for an easy solution.
There can come a time when sleep props become problematic. For example if your baby wakes and cries when they lose their dummy from their mouth in the night.
That might then be a stage where you need to address the sleep aid.
But if it’s helping you and baby get more sleep, there’s not going to be a long-term issue.
4. Expectations set too high
Were you thinking your baby would sleep just like you from day one? Did you assume they will be sleeping through by six months?
One of the biggest mistakes to make is setting your own expectations too high.
Newborns tend to sleep for just two to three hours at a time. They then may sleep for six to eight hours at night from around three months.
Around two-thirds of babies are sleeping through at six months. And at that stage you may still see sleep regressions that cause them to wake frequently for a spell.
So accept that infant sleep can be challenging. This surrendering to the problem can be psychologically freeing.
5. Naps lasting more than 4 hours in the day
They say never wake a sleeping baby. However with daytime sleep it is the case that a mega nap of more than four hours may cause you issues at night.
It can be helpful to ensure your baby is geared up to take their longest spell of sleep at night by controlling how long they sleep in the afternoon.
6. Keeping them awake longer to make them sleep longer
As an adult you are probably used to going to bed between 9.30pm and 11pm, then sleeping through to morning.
But then baby comes along and goes to bed at about 7pm or 8pm then wakes at 2am, right in the middle of your sleep. That may make you think keeping baby up until 10pm with you could push them to sleep longer.
Actually keeping your baby awake too long causes them to become overtired and an overtired baby tends to struggle with sleep and may wake more frequently. They’re harder to settle, so it’s actually counter productive to what you’re trying to achieve.
7. Forgetting to change the nappy before bedtime
A full nappy can leak which can cause you issues in the middle of the night.
I don’t think my babies ever woke from having a nappy that was too wet, but it did cause problems if their sleep suit had become damp along with their bed.
And having a very wet nappy overnight can lead to diaper rash, which in itself can lead your baby to struggle to settle to sleep.
So I always changed my babies’ nappies before they went to bed to ensure they were dry.
8. Comparing your baby’s sleep to other babies
The chat in most parent groups usually gets to the subject of sleep. Comparing notes on how your baby is sleeping with others can be useful but it can also lead you to wrongly think you’re getting it wrong.
Every baby is different. While your baby may not be sleeping as many hours as another, that doesn’t mean they will not sleep through eventually.
9. Rushing in at the first sound
If your baby wakes early from a nap it can be worth waiting just a few extra minutes to see if they can settle themselves on their own.
Some babies will cry in their sleep, or wake up as they transition from one sleep cycle to another before getting to sleep again.
Baby sleep cycles are usually around 40 minutes, so it’s worth just waiting and letting them try to get back to sleep on their own.
10. Believing they will never sleep through
The baby phase is very brief and so much changes in the first year.
Although sleep deprivation is difficult, remind yourself regularly that your baby will sleep through the night eventually and you will regain better night’s sleep for yourself.
In the meantime it can help to give in to this phase of their childhood, and ensure you are getting as much rest as possible in the daytime during their naps. And it also helps to enlist the assistance of friends and family to give you a break wherever possible.
