Are you wondering when is the best time to stop using a dummy with your child?
There are various reasons why you may be considering ditching the dummy, and official healthcare advice on when the best time to stop using one may be a deciding influence on what you do.
Your reasons for ditching might include:
- You’re concerned your child may be overly reliant on the dummy
- You’re concerned about your child’s speech
- You are feeling judged – if this is happening to you then I’m sorry it’s driving you to make a parenting decision. Do try to remember that you’re a good parent just doing your best for what’s right for your child.
- You feel your child is the right age to stop using the dummy
Whether your little one is a baby, a toddler or older, if you are starting to think that you would like to use dummies less or ditch the dummy altogether this article will help.
A very important notice before we get on to the main information in this article. You are the parent and it is entirely your decision as to what is best for your child. You don’t need permission to continue using a dummy with your child for as long as you choose if it’s working for you. This article is intended to provide you with information to help you make a choice and tips for stopping use of the dummy when you choose to do so. This is, as always, a zero judgement zone.
You may also like: When to stop using the baby monitor
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Reasons for using a dummy
Even as adults we form attachments to items that comfort us and babies are certainly no different.
The act of suckling is a comfort to babies – it’s how they get food from a bottle or their mother through breastfeeding.
This comfort can help to calm a baby when they are going through fussy phases or struggling to get to sleep in their own bed.
There is also evidence that dummy use is associated with a reduced risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), according to the Lullaby Trust.
If you are an exhausted parent of a baby who insists on comfort feeding to sleep or cannot be put down to settle to sleep on their own then a dummy can provide a good solution for helping you to get your baby to sleep, which means you can rest too!
When to stop using a dummy NHS advice
The NHS suggests parents stop using a dummy completely by 12 months and that the dummy be used to aid sleep only from six months onwards.
This is because regular use of the dummy when your child is awake and playing can lead to speech delay.
All of the noises your baby makes – even the unintelligible gurgles, shouts and screams – are a part of your child learning to speak.
In addition the longer you leave removing the dummy from your child the harder it can become, as babies start to form attachments to objects from around six to 10 months.
However the NHS is also extremely mindful in its advice that many parents continue to use dummies for their toddlers beyond 18 months. This is because it can continue to provide them with comfort and stress relief, particularly in different situations such as when they are starting nursery.
There is NHS advice out there for parents of toddlers who feel it’s time to start weaning their little one off of the dummy.
If your child is still using their dummy at age four you may want to consider weaning them off of it ahead of their starting school. They’re likely to be emotionally ready for the change by this stage as well.
Related post: Ways to soothe a crying baby
How I stopped using the dummy with my baby
Giving my first baby a dummy was such a crucial part of helping her to settle at nap time. All I had to do was put her down in her bed and give her the dummy and she was nodding off within minutes. If only my second baby had been that easy!
But I remember worrying about whether it would be too difficult to take away when we became dependent on it at nap time.
I didn’t want to unsettle her sleeping routine, because she was not only napping well in the day but also sleeping through the night.
Those easy nap times were so needed that the idea of losing them, and our long night’s sleep, was pretty scary.
But this turned out to be just one of those parenting things that you think will be the end of the world, but actually turned out to cause zero problems.
I chose to take away the dummy at six months. One day we just went cold turkey with the dummy and stopped giving it to her at nap time.
It did not cause us any issues at all.
Now what I would add is we were only using the dummy to settle her at nap time and bedtime. This was because she had previously been nodding off when feeding and I felt the suckling was what helped to soothe her to sleep. The dummy helped us get into a better rhythm of eating, playing and then sleeping.
I never used the dummy for her at other times, such as when she was fussy during playtime or teething for example. But of course many parents do use the dummy to help soothe their baby at all times of day.
So in my particular case it was just a matter of removing a sleep prop. Actually what I found was that because we had a routine, and my baby had a comforter she loved to sleep with, removing the dummy at six months did not disrupt her sleep at all.
Also we had always removed the dummy from her bed once she spat it out (usually around 30 minutes after falling asleep, sometimes less). This meant if she did wake up in the night she was resettling herself without the dummy anyway.
So I think my particular case shows that if you’re using the dummy a lot and want to stop, it’s a good idea to cut back in certain areas starting with play times. Then you can move up to sleep times.
So when is the best time to stop using a dummy?
The professionals say you should stop using a dummy by the time baby turns one.
However if you are using it into the toddler years you may want to consider ditching the dummies when you feel ready to do so. The older your child gets the tougher it can be to get rid of the dummies.
But whatever age they are remember that even if your child is resistant at first you will be able to crack their dummy habit with a little persistence, and these tips below!
Tips to stop dummy use
Ditching the dummy does not mean you have to go cold turkey.
Of course some parents may find it easier just to go all in with ending use of the dummy. It’s really up to you!
These tips will give you all of the help you need to stop the dummy use.
Reduce the use gradually
Look at the times when you are giving your child the dummy and try to reduce it one stage at a time.
So for example if your baby has the dummy at nap times and in the day when playing start by taking it away during playtime.
If they fuss then distract them with other toys and comfort them when they are upset. The noises babies make, such as crying and babbling, are all part of them learning to talk so even agitated noises are a valuable part of their speech development.
Then you can move towards removing the dummy at nap times as well.
Give your baby a comfort toy
Encourage your baby to form an attachment with a toy or comforter.
Both of my babies slept with comforters from a young age and my four year old is still incredibly attached to her toy – it’s this lovely soft lamb toy here.
Babies tend to form an attachment with toys from around six to 10 months so have the toy around frequently, and especially at nap times. Pick something that is safe for babies – it will say what age it is suitable for on the label.
Take the dummy away when baby is asleep
Offer it to help baby soothe themselves to sleep as you are weaning them off the dummy but remove the dummy once they have fallen asleep.
If they do wake up try to comfort them and settle them back to sleep without the dummy.
You can then gradually remove the use of the dummy at bedtime.
Stick with it
Once you’ve decided to go ahead and stop using dummies you will need to commit to it so that your baby gets used to the change.
Some babies will hardly react at all to the dummy being gone, it does often depend on their age and you will find the younger they are the easier it can be.
You will find it much easier to stick with it if you enlist the help of relatives, particularly your partner, to make sure you’re all on the same page.
How to help a toddler stop using a dummy
If you’ve decided it’s time to stop using the dummy then there are plenty of ways to make it easier for your toddler.
Follow the tips above for removing dummies from a baby. Giving your toddler dummy-free time in the first instance is a good way to get started with stopping dummy use.
You can also try these things.
Speak to your toddler about removing the dummy
Have a conversation with your child are why it’s time to stop using the dummy. Tell them they’re a big kid now and discuss a particular day when they would be happy to ditch the dummy.
This could be a birthday for example.
Tell them you are going to start with dummy-free time during the day and suggest a list of activities you could do with them during that time. This might be a craft activity like making play dough or baking together.
Collect up all of the dummies and say farewell
Have a farewell ceremony for the dummies. You can make it fun for your child by sending them around the house on a dummy hunt to collect them all up.
Next you could put them out for the “dummy fairy” – the tooth fairy’s cousin – to come and collect them.
Give your child a gift from the dummy fairy
Switching the dummy for something else can be a useful incentive for your child.
Consider giving them a new toy, such as comforter, or something else that they would like. Have a conversations with them about what they would like to switch the dummy for to help get them excited about stopping the dummy use.
Use a reward chart
As with potty training you may find a reward chart with stickers helps to incentivise your child trying something new.
Add a new sticker every morning or afternoon that they manage to go without using the dummy.
If they collect enough points then they get a reward at the end of the week.
You can find some great reward charts on Etsy.
Be consistent
It can be really difficult to stay the course when removing the pacifier is causing your child a lot of upset, and in turn losing you sleep.
Change can take time to get used to, so try to stay consistent and ask other members of your family to help out too by sticking to your plan.
It can help to make sure you’ve set aside a couple of weeks where you’re not going away or have any particularly stressful plans that coincide with removing the dummy.
This way you can focus just on getting through this difficult period. Even if your child struggles at first, they will eventually forget the dummy and be absolutely fine.
