Deciding on a baby name is one of the most exciting parts of pregnancy but it can also be quite a challenging task.
Differing opinions on what types of names belong on the shortlist (from the actual parents and outside sources) as well as overwhelm at the sheer volume of potential options can lead to disagreements.
But above all things, when it comes to how to choose a baby name it should be fun and this article is going to walk you through the process of choosing your perfect baby name step by step.
All parents will gravitate towards different names and may even discover names they had never even considered but come to love during the process of discussing baby monikers.
They key tips to follow when you need to choose a baby name are:
- Decide on what type of names you prefer – popular or rarely used
- Consider family or personal influences that you can take inspiration from
- Take a note of names that appeal to you
- Look for similar names and derivatives of names that you love
- Take inspiration from popular culture
- Consider names that work with your surname by sounding the full name out loud
- Take your time to think about your final decision – you don’t have to decide before the due date
I myself get a bit of shiny object syndrome when it comes to baby names – I see so many that I just adore that it makes me want to have another baby just to use them. Almost!
These tips will help you get to grips with the decision from start to finish so that you find a name you adore.
When should I start picking a baby name?
It’s never too early to start considering your baby’s name but many parents begin considering the names after the first trimester is over at 13 weeks onwards.
This is when you will have had your first scan and been reassured all is progressing well with your pregnancy and the highest risk phase for miscarriage has passed.
It’s sensible to have a lead favourite name and middle name picked out ahead of your due date, so you’ll want to be having the main discussions early in the third trimester.
Your final decision on choosing a baby name does not need to be taken until after the baby is born. Many parents like to meet their baby before making that firm decision.
However it’s best to go into the delivery room with an idea of your frontrunner name, as once the baby is born life tends to get a little chaotic!
Do not panic if you change your mind even after your baby is born.
We did not decide on our baby’s names for definite until around 10 days after they were born. It drove our families a little crazy!
Take your time and try to keep an open mind as you weigh up your top choices.
Things to consider when choosing a baby name
Some people sit down to discuss their favourite baby names and happen to be in complete agreement about what it should be.
But more commonly parents may disagree on certain names the other loves – remember that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel argued over their baby’s name?
So to get started, do not expect to agree right away and know that it’s OK if you don’t! This is a process, so try to consider these things as you consider your baby’s name.
Decide how far you want to cast your net
Do you want to look to the top 100 baby names for your child’s inspiration or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, do you want a name that is entirely invented by you?
Many people fall somewhere in-between but the top 100 baby names are a hit for a reason. Many of the names in the charts are traditional names that have stood the test of time because they are classics.
Others are modern favourites.
The top 100 baby names does not see enormous shifts from year to year but certainly does see gradual changes as the decades progress. Names that fell out of favour long ago come back, and brand new names that weren’t even used at all 50 years ago suddenly arrive.
You don’t have to rule out those most popular baby names (and we’ll talk more about common vs uncommon names shortly), but it can help to decide if the top 100 is a total no-go for you or whether you think your baby’s name is in that list.
Make a note of names you are drawn to
Start writing down names as soon as you can.
I recommend starting a notes document on your phone or have a small notebook handy where you want make a note of names that appeal to you.
Write down any name at all that catches your eye – don’t discount it just because you think it’s only got a 50-50 chance of being the one.
The reason for recording all names you like is that even though that specific name may not end up being the one, you may find a similar name or derivative that is.
It can also help if you and your partner each make a note of names you like and then you can compare those and find any shared names or potential for middle ground.
Once you get further through the process you can whittle down your list of names to a smaller number of favourites.
Have your eyes and ears open to potential names
When you are thinking about names you will find it hard to switch off from judging every single name that you hear!
But it’s good to keep your eyes and ears open to names that you may not be coming across in baby name lists.
Many parents take inspiration from movies and stars in popular culture.
The TV series Game of Thrones gave rise to a number of parents calling their babies Khaleesi, while the singer Dua Lipa caused the name Dua to double in popularity.
Pick up a book
There are absolutely thousands upon thousands of baby name lists online – just check out this website’s baby names section to see some of them!
However sometimes it can help to physically hold a list of names and flick through them at your leisure.
Having a baby name book may add different names to the mix and is a good way to record your favourites.
Use some colourful post-it notes to mark pages where you find names that you like. You can swap the book between you and your partner so you both get the chance to mark up the names that appeal to you.
Consider what trends appeal to you
Once you have started writing down and recording some names that appeal to you then it may start to emerge what sorts of name trends appeal to you.
Or there may be particular trends that have meaning to you that you really want to take a baby name from – for example Disney baby names.
It could be that you love boho names or maybe that you are into vintage classics that can stand the test of time.
Once you know what name trends you love then seek out name ideas in that area, adding any other names that appeal to you from that theme.
Are there any no-go areas
Think about and discuss the influences in your life that mean certain names or type of name are an absolute no for you.
There may be cultural factors at play or particular names from your life that you want to avoid or will have an influence in your decision.
Certain names or letters may be harder to pronounce, or you may have a relative or younger child who struggles with certain pronunciation so that could potentially be something you want to consider.
Common vs uncommon
Go back a few decades and people would focus on the popular, common baby names of the day.
But today the trend is very much towards uncommon and unique choices – so much so that you may argue the uncommon trend has actually become quite common!
Whereas 50 years ago we had a lot of John and Marys being born, today parents are looking beyond that top 100 and even feeling a pressure to shun it in order to provide their baby with a standout and striking name.
Although we have a top 100 most popular baby names list, there are also many thousands of other names parents are choosing each year.
The latest ONS data shows over 5,500 names that were given to at least three babies in 2021 (any names given to a smaller number aren’t published in the list due to data protection).
This desire for a baby name that is both unique – and yet also not too crazy because parents need to love it enough to use it multiple times a day – means that choosing a baby name today is quite a challenging business.
The first thing parents struggling with this trend need to do is decide whether they gravitate towards the common or uncommon trend.
If it’s a little of both, then look to names that are common and try to find close derivatives of that name or something similar with a little twist to give it that uncommon, rare-sounding touch.
For example if you love the name Amelia for a girl, maybe consider the name Emelia if you want something that sounds similar but is less used.
If you like the boy’s name Jack, then maybe consider trying Jackson or Jaxon.
Ultimately there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to finding a baby name you love and what you need to focus on is the names that you gravitate towards and can see yourself loving for many years to come.
Consider your priorities for choosing a middle name
For some parents picking a middle name is the easiest part, because they know they want the name to pay tribute to a loved one.
It’s common to use a grandparent’s name or similar.
Other parents may choose to pay homage to a particular place that has great meaning to them with the middle name, or pick something with a sentimental meaning.
For example a baby born after a long wait for the parents may be given the middle name Hope or Faith.
You may like: Baby boy name combinations
Research meanings for names
When selecting names that will be on your shortlist, consider what the meanings are.
It doesn’t matter if a name’s meaning holds no connection for you, however the meanings of certain names may be a deal breaker for you if this sort of thing really matters to you.
Take some time to look at the origins and meaning behind the names you love, this type of research can also help to suggest new ideas or confirm decisions on certain names you were on the fence about.
Form a shortlist
Now that you have spent some time narrowing down the types of names you love it’s time to form a shortlist.
This shortlist should be around three to five names long. If you have not found out what sex you are having then have a list for boys and girls.
Of course it could be that your preferred baby name is a unisex name – these are so popular and there are some adorable options.
If that is the case, or if you know the gender, then you only need the one shortlist each.
Compare your shortlists and see if there is any common ground in those so you can bring your shortlists together and form one.
Look at the nicknames
Examine the names on your shortlists and think about the potential nicknames.
You cannot control what nicknames your child could be given once they get to school age, so think about whether there are any nicknames that would really put your off the name.
It could be that a nickname makes a name that you were really on the fence about much more appealing!
Don’t forget the initials
Examine the potential initials of your favourite names and check they do not spell out anything unfortunate.
Alexander Samuel Smith for example spells out something that you may not want on your child’s lunchbox!
Take a step back
It could be that at this stage you have a name that you absolutely adore and you are in agreement. That’s great!
If not then take some time to consider the names and debate whether there are any that are a particular frontrunner.
Take a step back and think about the names separately for a couple of weeks. It can help to write the names down on a piece of paper and stick them on the fridge or somewhere you will see it every day.
Looking at the names every day can help to solidify your top choices.
Be flexible with your decision
When you have found a name that you are both in agreement with then don’t forget to celebrate!
But it’s also important to remember you have time to make the final decision, even after the baby is born.
So don’t place pressure on yourself to make the decision and sign it off until you are absolutely certain your head won’t be turned by another name.
You have several weeks after the baby is born until you have to register their name for the birth certificate, so you don’t have to decide on the day they are born.
How to pick a baby name that goes with a last name
To match your baby’s first name to the last try reading your favourite baby names out loud with your last name.
The human ear is the best way to decide if you actually feel these names work and flow together well.
There are no rules when it comes to names and the sounds that must be paired together, but there are certain names that just flow well together.
Consider the number of syllables in your favourite names and whether those are too much of a mouthful when combined with your surname, if it is particularly long and complex.
How to decide between two names
If you have two names that you adore then take some time to out to weigh up the pros and cons of those names.
Does one go better with your surname and/or middle name preference than the other?
Could you possibly hold your second favourite name back for your next child, or could you use these two names in combination as a first and middle name?
Consider enlisting the help of relatives or friends whose opinions you really trust and value. Their views may help to solidify your favourite.
It’s OK to go into the delivery room without having firmly decided between the two names. Many parents like to meet their baby before making that big final decision.
