10 signs that you’re a mum

Motherhood brings with it a lot of changes.

Lack of sleep, baby brain and that protective parental instinct means you’ve gone from carefree you to mama bear overnight.

Now there are moments when you take a step back and think; “woah, I’m an adult with actual responsibilities. God I feel old.”

We love being parents, but it’s like you’ve gained a whole new set of characteristics overnight. We’re still us, but with some dramatically altered opinions and skills.

Here are the signs that you are a mum:

1. You don’t feel sorry for people dining on their own

The pre-motherhood you would have felt sorry for anyone sat alone in a restaurant.

Now you look at them with envy as they sip on a glass of wine and slowly tuck into their meal while reading a newspaper.

They won’t be fending off demands for pudding every two minutes or having to give up their last chip.

That woman on her own is probably a mum at the end of her tether who just had to get the f**k out of the house for an hour. Good for her.

2. You are more danger averse

Whereas seeing someone playing chicken with cars or hurling themselves off of a bridge into a river used to be hilarious, now we tut and roll our eyes.

You have to stop yourself from launching into a lecture when you see random acts of stupidity.

This also includes when you see young people who have clearly had too much to drink and are staggering home alone. You want to give them a stern talking to about knowing their limits and always sticking with their friends.

3. You quiz the stripper on his life choices

You’re at a hen party. The stripper is a 21-year-old student trying to pay for his final year of uni.

While 10 years ago you may have been cracking naughty jokes and getting too handsy, now you ask what he plans to do after his philosophy degree and suggest teaching would be a good option.

4. You’re never without wipes

These are a mums number one essential item. Their list of uses is endless, from wiping bums to getting stains off of the carpet.

You have a pack in every bag, in every room and at least three in the car.

5. You have a bottomless bag of snacks

Nothing diffuses a potential tantrum quicker than a snack. The snack bag is packed with goodies like fruit, breadsticks, raisins and the occasional biscuit, which is pulled out in the most extreme cases.

6. You say things like “beds are for sleeping, not jumping”

Remember when your mum used to say things like “your face will stay that way if the wind changes”? Now it’s you saying those things.

They roll off the tongue way too easily and you really mean them. Now you finally understand what your own parents went through with you.

7. You can do everything one-handed

You’ve developed this skill through years of holding crying babies while making a bottle and balancing toddlers while paying for shopping.

An extra arm would be nice but actually we’ve evolved to be extremely efficient with just the one. We can also pick a whole range of stuff up with our feet.

8. You have an internal alarm clock

No matter where you are sleeping you wake at 6.45am because that’s the very latest time your kids wake up.

9. You worry

Worry and parenting go hand in hand. Every little detail becomes a overwhelming prospect as you consider what could go wrong.

Then media headlines make it worse as you read of terrible things that have happened to totally unsuspecting families.

Parenting paranoia strikes with a long list of stuff, such as grapes, potential playground accidents and child proofing.

10. You always have food on the brain

Whether you’re thinking about eating it or what to cook for dinner, food is something mums think about at least once every five minutes.

10 signs that prove you are a mum

Burnished Chaos

14 Comments

  1. September 11, 2017 / 10:56 am

    This made me laugh, I was literally nodding along to every single one! x #thelistlinky

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 11, 2017 / 9:06 pm

      Haha, that’s great to hear x

  2. September 11, 2017 / 7:23 pm

    #FamilyFun absolutely and i love the idea of talking to the stripper haha. you forgot that once you deliver the placenta you have the book of knowledge inserted in to your head (I swear my son thinks I know everything…so blagging it is)

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 11, 2017 / 9:07 pm

      Haha, yes that’s a good point!

  3. September 11, 2017 / 8:39 pm

    Oh this is so true! Especially about thinking about food all the time! #familyfun

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 11, 2017 / 9:08 pm

      Glad it’s not just me! X

  4. September 12, 2017 / 7:48 pm

    Hahaha I love it. I was nodding along reading these #FamilyFunLinky

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 13, 2017 / 6:52 am

      Great, glad it’s not just me! Xx

  5. September 13, 2017 / 7:02 am

    Ha ha, you’ve got nailed it. Nodded along to every single one. When my oldest reached 5 my husband started trying to insist it was time to get rid of the baby wipes, then I got pregnant, part of him thinks it was just so I could keep the wipes
    Thank you for joining #FamilyFunLinky

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 13, 2017 / 1:44 pm

      I use them for everything! They’re a protected resource in this house, haha. Thanks for reading x

  6. September 17, 2017 / 9:54 am

    This is great! Spot on! I ALWAYS have wipes! 🙂 #familyfun

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 17, 2017 / 9:27 pm

      Haha, thank you x

  7. emmaology
    September 19, 2017 / 9:36 pm

    I agree with so many of these! I’ve always got tissues too, and I try to mother too many people. Mum problems ey!

    • themummybubbleblog
      September 20, 2017 / 9:33 pm

      Haha, glad it’s not just me xx

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