10 things people would never say to working dads



It’s funny how progressive we claim to be as a society, and yet there’s still a lot of assumptions surrounding each sex’s role in bringing up baby.

There are certain things people would just never say or ask a working dad. However they are things a working mother may have to put up with, as she grits her teeth and tries desperately not to remind the observer that it’s 2018, not 1918.

1. Won’t you miss your kids when you’re working full-time?

For some reason there’s an assumption that dads aren’t fussed about not seeing their kids five days a week.

With mums people immediately assume they must be in emotional turmoil at the thought of leaving their kids all day, while dads must be OK with it.

The truth is we both miss our kids during the day, but equally both mums and dads may have jobs they love and want to do full-time!

2. How do you fit in the housework?

Even if you have two working parents, there’s still the assumption that the woman will be donning her pinnie at the end of every day and scrubbing the floors as well.

Truth time, dads don’t just get to put their feet up and smoke their pipe at the end of a hard day at work.

Both parents are dashing about, trying to put dinner together and then wrestling the kids to bed. It’s called being fair, and being partners!

3. Do you need to leave early to collect the kids every day?

Anything surrounding care of the children seems to automatically fall to the mum as her responsibility.

Therefore if both parents have working days that don’t finish until 6pm, there’s the assumption that it’s the mother’s working hours that need to change!

Both mums and dads need flexible working to make childcare work.

4. Do you have to work? Doesn’t your other half earn more than you?

These days there are lots of families where the woman is the primary wage earner. Yet we still have the age old assumption that dad is paying the bills and bringing home the bacon while mum was just pretending to have a career before the babies came along.

There’s also that assumption again that women should be at home caring for the kids, and nursery is a desperate measures type solution only.

5. Don’t you feel guilty when you drop your kids off at nursery?

No-one would ever question a dad’s decision to leave their kids in childcare and go to work full-time, but women are constantly asked to justify their decision.

6. Does your partner pitch in a lot at home?

While good mums are just referred to as “mums”, good dads are called “hands-on dads”. It seems crazy to me that a dad is praised to high heaven for taking his kid to the doctor or changing a nappy, whereas for a mum doing these things is just a given.

News flash, we are both parents. We don’t “pitch in” when it comes to raising our kids, we just raise our kids!

7. I can’t imagine letting someone else raise my child.

That’s so very true, I can’t either. Just because I’m working, doesn’t mean I’m not raising my child! I’m still their mum.

It’s funny how society still piles the guilt on to working mums, while working dads are applauded for providing for their family.

8. Your baby has a fever, can you come and collect them?

I don’t know about you, but my nursery will bombard all of my phone numbers with calls before calling my other half as a last resort.

We are both equals in this, and we both sometimes have to sacrifice a bit of work time in order to care for our poorly children!

9. Hopefully you can quit one day soon

It’s true that many of us dream of early retirement, but why is it assumed that women are desperate to be stay at home mums?

10. You must feel so lucky having such a hands-on partner?

I feel lucky to have a loving and supportive partner. I don’t take for granted the fact that he’s a good parent, but equally I don’t think it’s “luck” that he can be arsed to be involved with his children!

What do you think? Have you found yourself at the receiving end of any of these comments? I would love to hear from you!




10 things people never say to working dads

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  • I didn’t go back to work with my eldest until she was 3 but I agree with all these! I plan on dong the same this time, going back when she is 3 and i’m sure I will hear it all again! #fortheloveofBLOG

  • We were lucky enough for Rev T to be able to stay at home with the Tubblet when she was small. There were a few raised eyebrows and some comments about didn’t I worry about leaving him in charge … He’s her dad!! The other parent …!

  • These are sooooo true!! Yes it’s horrible dropping my daughter at nusery sometimes but she has so much fun there and learns so much I think I’d probably still send her even if I wasn’t working (make that if I was rich and not working!!) #fortheloveofblog

  • I love this post! My husband and I have both worked flexibly around childcare and share nursery drop-offs/pick-ups, but I’m the only one the nursery phones when she’s ill. He used to work around the corner so it would have been easier for him to get her! #fortheloveofBLOG

  • These questions and judgments kill me all the time! My husband and I both work full time and adore the daycare our child goes to. She is so well socialized and gets her energy out, learns a ton from the older kids, has amazing teachers. I think her immune system is getting strong and she’s learning the skills very early that she’ll need in school. Of course it’s hard to drop her off, but my husband and I both love working and we both love watching our little one get excited to see us when we pick her up. There is no right answer. Every family is different and they need to do whatever they need in order to take care of their family in the best way they can.

  • As a working dad with a wife who works part-time, I recognise many of these and it is ridiculous that people still ask these questions in this day and age.

    Working dads get asked equally stupid questions too though. I’ve occaionally had colleagues express surprise that I sometimes leave work early to pick up the kids from after-school club. Or they’ve asked me to rearrange when I’ve booked a morning off to see a nativity play or sports day. It’s as if some people can’t process that a working dad might actively want to be a parent too. #fortheloveofblog

    • It’s crazy isn’t it. People can’t understand why a dad would be just as involved as a mum, even if they are working. Seems strange in this day and age we still consider the mum the child-rearer.

  • I haven’t – but then I am a stay-at-home mum. I work at home when the boys are at school and take care of the housework too. The Hubby does earn more than me and I don’t have to work. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t totally agree with all of your points! Great post. xxx

  • This is so true. When I went back to work after having my third there were so many comments about how people couldn’t believe I had come back and how they don’t know how I do it. Erm… i want a roof over my head so I sort of have to! Grrr! #fortheloveofblog

  • I am lucky enough that i teach at the same school Little Girl goes to. When she is off I am off! #fortheloveofblog

  • This is such a great post. You’d have thought we’d have moved on from lazy stereotypes by now!! #fortheloveofBLOG

  • It is such a shame that this is true. Hopefully one day society will catch up and things like this won’t be said to either gender.