Are you about to become a mum, or planning on getting pregnant?
There are a few things all grown-ups should do before having kids. It’s the little things that count!
1. Get your nails done
Those hands will be busy, busy, busy once the baby arrives.
Give them some serious pampering, and don’t forget to slather on the moisturiser! Baby wipes, washing-up liquid and washing your hands after every nappy change takes its toll on your skin.
2. Take a LOT of selfies
You’ll want to remember yourself before you were too tired to put a brush through your hair and get your eyeliner on straight.
3. Have a spa weekend
Splash the cash while you have some spare pennies.
4. Watch crime/horror films
If you love thrillers, horror films and crime stories, get your fix now.
A lot of these films revolve around exploring every parent’s worst nightmare, and it becomes unwatchable after you have your own children.
5. Declutter like mad
Get rid of ALL excess stuff you don’t need. Half-used bottles of shampoo, stacks of old magazines, make-up you never wear anymore, old clothes and whatever else you can think of.
Once that’s done, relish in how clean and tidy your home is. Once the baby arrives, it will never be tidy again.
6. Go out out
Get dressed up, wear high heels, enjoy having the energy to stay up late and don’t discuss anything that would even vaguely interest someone under the age of 18.
7. Be hungover
Your head is pounding, you’re feeling very peaky, but it’s OK. You can stay in bed. All day.
8. Throw a sickie
Sure you don’t want to make a habit of it, but there’s no skipping work when your job title is mother.
9. Have a bath
Light candles, chuck in a Lush bath bomb and relish in the silence, and lack of bath toys digging into your bum.
10. Read a trashy magazine
As long as it doesn’t have rhymes, a dragon, woodland creatures or an annoying little pig, pick it up and give it a read. Anything grown-up is good.
11. Wee with the door closed every chance you get
Privacy is a magical thing. Appreciate it.
12. Avoid TMI conversations
When you’ve been to the toilet, you don’t have to answer questions about it. When anyone else has been, you don’t need to make observations about the quality of their bowel movements.
13. Eat sweets without the stealth
Place a bag of your favourite sweets in the centre of the room. Eat them in full view of anyone who happens to enter the same room. You don’t have to share, or worry about causing Type 2 Diabetes in your kids.
14. Swear
Have a four-letter rant about your day at work. Sing swear words to the tune of your favourite song. Let the F-word run free.
15. Live on the edge
Relish in the sharp corners of tables, leave cupboard doors wide open, don’t worry about placing glasses on the edge of the coffee table and serve plates of really hot food without worrying if anyone will burn themselves.
16. Talk about yourself
Discuss what’s on your mind, to anyone who will listen.
17. Complete a to-do list
Enjoy the satisfaction of ticking items actually getting shit done.
18. Avoid CBeebies
You don’t know who Peppa Pig is right now. Appreciate that freedom. You’ll miss it when it’s gone.
19. Wake up when you are ready to wake up
Open your eyes on a Saturday morning, look at the time, see it’s 8am, and go back to sleep. You won’t know how lucky you are until it’s too late.
20. Turn the radio on and up
If you can find something with explicit lyrics that would be even better.
21. Say something, anything, just once
Soon you will have to repeat every request, statement and question 597 times.
Clara
Monday 23rd of April 2018
Isn't a bucket list things to do before you DIE?