Siblings: It’s a love/hate relationship

Sibling relationships - when love and hate collide
My girls – when it’s love

I didn’t expect my two girls to develop a love/hate relationship quite so soon.

When I found out I was having another girl my mind immediately sprang forwards to the teenage years when they might be falling out over nicking clothes from each other’s wardrobe.

But they already have multiple tiny spats a day. None of them are particularly huge falling outs, but that’s mainly because my baby moves on from things extremely quickly at the moment. And she can’t talk.

My toddler has the upper hand for now, but what about when they’re both properly mobile, are talking and feel very possessive of everything they own?

When its love

When they’re getting on they do so many cute things.

They speak in their own special language. It sounds like what I imagine a pair of excitable dinosaurs did when they communicated with each other; there’s a lot of screeching and screaming in high-pitched tones.

It’s funny because my toddler is really great at speaking, her language is amazing. But when it comes to her sister she reverts to little squeaks and squeals. I guess she wants to imitate her sister, who loves taking it in turns to make the increasingly loud noises. I’ll be needing earplugs soon before I lose my sense of hearing.

When its hate

Unfortunately things can go downhill dramatically fast. When they fall out there’s tears and hitting. It’s normally sparked by my baby grabbing a toy my toddler was playing with or smashing a tower she was building to pieces.

I can see in my toddler’s face at times that she’s not keen on how much attention I give to her sister. She often asks me to out her sister down. She hates it when I read to both of them, as my baby is always grabbing at the book.

Surely it’s these memories combined with all the others in their future that will make them close. The shared memories of the good and bad times. I hope that because they are close in age, they will always have back-up.

When I picture their future, I hope that:
They will stick up for each other when playground bullies strike.

When a boy breaks one of their hearts, the other will step in to tell him what an utter t**t he is.

They will visit each other at university, particularly when one of them is feeling lonely and homesick.

They will always have each other if they need a night out, or a quick cup of coffee.

When something funny happens, they will exchange texts about it.

They’re the first one each other calls in an emergency, even if they fell out the last time they spoke.

They will help each other plan their weddings.

They will be there for each other when one of them has a wobble about their choices in life.

When one of them is pregnant, the other will always have ice cream in their freezer in case she visits.

They will be the best damn aunties ever to each others’ children.

I know that they will hate each other at times. But isn’t that what real love is? Being so close to someone and knowing them so well that sometimes you drive each other mad and that love turns to hate.

But love for your family doesn’t ever go away. I hope my kids are always there for each other.

In the meantime these sibling squabbles are here to stay. So for now I’m a referee stuck in the middle. There’s nowhere else I would rather be.

Do you have two, or more kids, who fight like cats and dogs? Do you think they will be close in the future? I would love to hear from you.



The Pramshed


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  • I’ve actually got something coming out about this later this week. Mine are 6 and 17, you wouldn’t think that they would have much to argue over, but somehow they still find a way! #triumphanttales

  • I think the love/hate relationship is natural and when they are older and you tell them these stories they will laugh.

  • Oh I have all this to come once a second baby comes on the scene! Having a boy I’m worried if there is two boys then it will all be fights but a boy and a girl may not be too bad! Try to concentrate on the good times and breathe through the bad!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

  • My 3 boys have done nothing but fight for years, whenever I’ve got involved they’ve ganged up on me. As adults they’ve had little contact with each other over recent years unless hubby or I are in the country. Last month my father died and all the boys have put their differences aside and despite the sadness have all come together and had such a lovely time together as a family. They’ve now all gone their separate ways again, to Australia, Belfast and 2 near by, but are now keeping in touch. #triumphanttales

  • That is such a cute picture! As one of three girls, I know too well the bond between girls and the bad moments come in buckets but it’s all worthwhile for the lovely bits. Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofblog

  • Aww I’m expecting my 2nd and I can’t wait for the lovely moments! pretty terrified about the actual coping with two thing though… I kind of hope it’s another girl as I never had a sister so it’d be lovely to see my daughter have one. Either way I will be happy of course as long as baby is healthy xx #FortheloveofBLOG

    • You’ll be fine! There’s crazy days, for sure, but in many ways it’s easier too. I’m waiting for the day I reap the benefits of having two so close together as then they will entertain each other, I hope! Xx