I see you, mama

Dear tired mama,

Right now you are overwhelmed. You feel stretched paper thin and although you don’t tear, you feel fragile and on the verge of ripping apart. 

You feel like life is moving so quickly you don’t know how to keep up and yet it’s also so repetitive that sometimes it’s like you’re crawling along at a snail’s pace. The end of the day is always light years from now. 

You’re tired. No matter how many hours you manage to get, you never feel like you’ve had enough sleep. 

When that little one drags you from your sleep you are conflicted. Those morning cuddles feel so damn good, but another hour of sleep would have been really nice too. 

You’re mentally drained. Some days you can’t do anything right. 

Those big tears your little one cries, the mess in the house, the fact you haven’t managed to get dressed and it’s now bedtime. You can’t please anyone, least of all yourself. You are your own biggest critic. 

You’re lonely. Who thought motherhood could be so isolating. Your old life seems a long long time ago. Friendships have changed, your routine has changed and you spend 90 per cent of your time with a little person who takes every ounce of energy you can give them, then asks for more. 

Then you lose your temper. Because it’s all just too much. The feeling of failure, the noise, the walls closing in, all of it. You snap, because you’re human. And then you feel like crap, because you’re the mama, and you’re supposed to hold it together no matter what. 

And yet here you are, failing at motherhood. The thing you think you should be getting right, because it should just come naturally, right. 

You feel ashamed, and scared that it’s only you that feels this way. No one can see you. 

But I do see you tired mama, because I am you. You are not alone. 

We all have crappy days, crappy weeks and even crappier nights. Sometimes we are just getting by one exhausting minute at a time. 

Remember that you are not failing, because you are showing up. 

You’re there day after day, being the best mama you can be on not enough sleep, with not enough pairs of hands and not enough time to handle all the stuff you’ve got to handle. 

You are not perfect. But guess what, none of us are. And none of us have a clue what we are doing.

You are enough because you are you. 

One day you will wake up and that feeling of overwhelm will have vanished. You’ll have realised that actually, you’re just learning – that’s all motherhood is, one big learning curve.

You’ll know that it’s OK to spend a day in your pyjamas because you’re feeling knackered. You’ll know that it’s OK to put the baby down and leave the room for five minutes to escape the screaming. You’ll know that so much changes so quickly with kids, that it will not always be this hard.

Until then, just keep showing up. 

Love,

Another tired mama

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