A parent’s guide to surviving chicken pox

Kids can be so so selfish. A few spots on their face and all of a sudden they’re all “me, me, me”.

As parents it is our duty to endure the nightmare that is chicken pox.

Here’s how you can survive the ordeal:

Cancel everything

All plans are now off. Even going to the supermarket is a questionable outing, as you risk infecting everyone with this virus of torture.

The nursery won’t have your child when they have the pox, so you’ll have to cancel work, you can’t go out with your friends on Friday night as none of them want to risk catching it and even the germ-fest that is soft play is a definite no-no.

Find some new movies

Your child will want to watch season one of Peppa Pig for the nine millionth time.

Attempt to lure them away from the world’s most irritating hog by explaining that Frozen has a talking snowman and Despicable Me features little yellow things that talk funny.

Stock up on food

You will need all of the nutrition you can get. Junk food is your friend at this difficult time, welcome it into your home with open arms.

Get lollies in the freezer

You’ll need them to cool yourself down as your spotty child will want to sit on your lap at all times, leaving you a sweaty mess.

Raid the pharmacy

You’ll need some extra vitamins to cope with all the sleepless nights, plus the days are pretty knackering too.

Snooze on the sofa

When the little patient is distracted, by Peppa no doubt, then lie back and catch some zzzs for yourself. You’re going to need it for the long night ahead.

Coffee and chocolate

This is a trying time, so you deserve some treats. Get in your fave snacks, make sure you have some decent coffee in and put your feet up when you can.

Don’t forget to hide the treats from your kids, they’re bad for their teeth after all!

Follow all of these steps and you might just about survive the trauma.

If you’re feeling generous, despite the struggle, it might be worth buying in some Calpol, camomile lotion and a digging out the extra snuggly blanket for sofa naps. It’s not ALL about you after all.

NOTE: I do look after my kids when they are ill – I’m not a total arse!

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