It’s funny how progressive we claim to be as a society, and yet there’s still a lot of assumptions surrounding each sex’s role in bringing up baby.
There are certain things people would just never say or ask a working dad. However they are things a working mother may have to put up with, as she grits her teeth and tries desperately not to remind the observer that it’s 2018, not 1918.
1. Won’t you miss your kids when you’re working full-time?
For some reason there’s an assumption that dads aren’t fussed about not seeing their kids five days a week.
With mums people immediately assume they must be in emotional turmoil at the thought of leaving their kids all day, while dads must be OK with it.
The truth is we both miss our kids during the day, but equally both mums and dads may have jobs they love and want to do full-time!
2. How do you fit in the housework?
Even if you have two working parents, there’s still the assumption that the woman will be donning her pinnie at the end of every day and scrubbing the floors as well.
Truth time, dads don’t just get to put their feet up and smoke their pipe at the end of a hard day at work.
Both parents are dashing about, trying to put dinner together and then wrestling the kids to bed. It’s called being fair, and being partners!
3. Do you need to leave early to collect the kids every day?
Anything surrounding care of the children seems to automatically fall to the mum as her responsibility.
Therefore if both parents have working days that don’t finish until 6pm, there’s the assumption that it’s the mother’s working hours that need to change!
Both mums and dads need flexible working to make childcare work.
4. Do you have to work? Doesn’t your other half earn more than you?
These days there are lots of families where the woman is the primary wage earner. Yet we still have the age old assumption that dad is paying the bills and bringing home the bacon while mum was just pretending to have a career before the babies came along.
There’s also that assumption again that women should be at home caring for the kids, and nursery is a desperate measures type solution only.
5. Don’t you feel guilty when you drop your kids off at nursery?
No-one would ever question a dad’s decision to leave their kids in childcare and go to work full-time, but women are constantly asked to justify their decision.
6. Does your partner pitch in a lot at home?
While good mums are just referred to as “mums”, good dads are called “hands-on dads”. It seems crazy to me that a dad is praised to high heaven for taking his kid to the doctor or changing a nappy, whereas for a mum doing these things is just a given.
News flash, we are both parents. We don’t “pitch in” when it comes to raising our kids, we just raise our kids!
7. I can’t imagine letting someone else raise my child.
That’s so very true, I can’t either. Just because I’m working, doesn’t mean I’m not raising my child! I’m still their mum.
It’s funny how society still piles the guilt on to working mums, while working dads are applauded for providing for their family.
8. Your baby has a fever, can you come and collect them?
I don’t know about you, but my nursery will bombard all of my phone numbers with calls before calling my other half as a last resort.
We are both equals in this, and we both sometimes have to sacrifice a bit of work time in order to care for our poorly children!
9. Hopefully you can quit one day soon
It’s true that many of us dream of early retirement, but why is it assumed that women are desperate to be stay at home mums?
10. You must feel so lucky having such a hands-on partner?
I feel lucky to have a loving and supportive partner. I don’t take for granted the fact that he’s a good parent, but equally I don’t think it’s “luck” that he can be arsed to be involved with his children!
What do you think? Have you found yourself at the receiving end of any of these comments? I would love to hear from you!