Mummy friends are worth their weight in gold.
When it comes to getting through that first year and beyond, you need a squad behind you to help each other survive. Here’s why:
1. They get you out of the house
It’s easy, and totally lavish, to just stay indoors in your PJs all day after you’ve had a baby.
While this is to be encouraged some of the time, you don’t want to be stuck indoors all day, every day.
Meeting up with a friend is your reason to get out of the house and pretend to be a normal human being for an hour.
2. The jokes
Parenting is bloody hard work. Sometimes it’s such hard work we want to scream and then cry and then scream some more.
But laughter is indeed the best medicine and if we can laugh about the things that are driving us totally mental then we tend to deal with it so much better.
With mum friends you can laugh about how ridiculous all your endless worries are and joke about those unpleasant post-partum symptoms. Piles and hair loss are hilarious after all!
3. Knowledge is power
There is no greater learning resource than fellow mums who have been there before and have your back.
A friend will tell you what did and didn’t work for them and why. It’s amazing what you can learn about breastfeeding issues, sleep and, crucially, what not to buy for your baby from fellow mums.
4. Another point of view
When we can’t see the wood for the trees, sometimes it helps to get a second opinion.
If you’ve been spending all week stressing out about how often the baby is feeding or trying desperately to find a routine that works, sometimes talking it through with someone else is the best way to find a solution.
Plus mum friends have your best interest at heart, so all their views come from a place of kindness.
5. It can stop you going crazy
It’s easy to get stuck inside your own head during the first year with a baby.
It’s an extremely overwhelming time. But friends are like free therapy, and mum friends can listen and understand like no one else.
6. Brutal honesty
Sometimes you need someone to just tell it to you straight, like if you’ve been obsessing over room temperature for hours every single day.
You need a fellow mum to tell you to just stop worrying so much, babies are tougher than they look!
That first year is exhausting and at times the relentlessness of caring for a baby can take it out if you. Having someone there who reminds you of the bigger picture, that you have a healthy baby and life does get easier, can bring you back from a dark place.
7. Free reign to rant
When your partner can’t listen to your epic tirades about sleep training any more, it’s time to call in friendly reinforcements.
Sometimes you just need to spend an hour being totally negative and p****d off. And with mum friends that’s ok, because they get that being p****d off is part of the magic of motherhood.
8. Baby playmates
Once your baby has grown a bit and is getting mobile, it’s great to get them socialising with other babies.
Plus eventually they will entertain each other so that you can sit and have a coffee in peace. Yes it might be a while off before playtime is interrupted every five minutes by someone crying, but remember that it will happen eventually.
Plus it’s so damn cute seeing babies crawling around excitedly together.
Mum friends have your back. If anyone judges you or makes you feel down about your parenting skills, you can bet a true mum friend will be at your side being furious on your behalf.
10. They just get it
For me there was nothing more reassuring than knowing that I wasn’t the only one feeling totally overwhelmed by the whole motherhood thing,
It also surprised me how we would all be going through exactly the same things. It’s easy to imagine yourself being the only one struggling at motherhood, particularly with the lies social media can tell us.
It can make us think we are getting it all wrong,
But when you tell your friend about how you spent all night trying to put your baby down in their cot to sleep with zero success, and they say “me too”, suddenly you realise you’re not alone.
You’ll find your fellow mum friends also suffer from self-doubt, guilt and worry, just as much as you do.
11. The nights out
They are rare after having children but when those nights out come it’s great to share them with people who are just as excited as you to get out of the house.
Relishing in prosecco and good friends in a grown-ups only environment is a fantastic mental break from the daily slog of parenting.
You will of course end up being home and in bed by 10.30pm.
Do your mum friends make motherhood bearable for you? Are there any times you can remember when they came through for you and really helped you out? I would love to hear from you.
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