Is this what rocking motherhood feels like?

As I sit writing this I am surrounded by the evidence that I am in way over my head.

My children are wrestling on the floor – they’re bored because I haven’t had a chance to play with them since they got home from nursery – and I know we’re only seconds away from the words: “She bit me/pinched me/hit me/pulled my hair!”

Half chewed, soggy bread sits in one corner – the remnants of a bribe-gone-wrong. Toys litter every corner of the room, there’s a potty full of wee amid the chaos and at least three half-full sippy cups are scattered around oozing out water/milk onto the carpet.

Elsewhere there is a load of wet laundry in the washing machine that needs to be emptied, however there’s nowhere to hang it because I haven’t got around to taking down the last lot of clean clothes and putting them away.

Upstairs the bathroom is a disaster zone that would test even the muscle-iest of Mr Muscles, the beds are not even casually made – they are in utter disarray, and clothes are flung on the back of every chair, bed post and square inch of bannister.

As I survey what used to be my pristine home I cannot even decide what to tackle first, as the phone rings. It’s work and I need to finish something up for them.

Despite this I am grateful for the raisins littering the floor – grateful because I thought they were something else that no one wants littering a floor with infants crawling about.

But I’m coping – depending on how you define coping. Yes, the house is a mess, the kids are fighting and work is probably sick to death of me saying “my toddler has another cold” and “no I can’t swap that shift, I can’t sort the childcare”.

However I am getting two kids to nursery every day at roughly the right time, the house might be a mess but it’s not like those pictures of homes where hoarders live and I am just about playing the part of a competent journalist at work.

When it comes to dinner everyone has different tastes, which seem to change daily at the moment. I’ll spend 15 minutes making turkey goujons from scratch and congratulate myself on not resorting to a packet meal. But then my toddler juts out her chin and insists it’s fish fingers or nothing, so Captain Birdseye sinks my battleship. Again.

I’m a work mum of two. I’ve been living it for the last month, we’ve all survived and I haven’t been sacked.

This week my kids have been unwell, as has my other half, so on Sunday I had to work a full day, look after the kids and sort out dinner. Sounds like I totally kicked motherhood’s arse, right?

Actually I stuck my toddler in front of the telly ALL day. When I say all day, I’m not over-exaggerating in that way where you casually throw out “all day” when you really mean one hour, I actually had kids’ TV on all day. Thank god for Netflix.

My baby was so ill she lay still in my arms while sucking her thumb as I struggled to reach around her to type on my computer, anxious about deadlines. Dinner was care of the freezer, thank goodness it’s packed with convenience goodies.

So is this what rocking motherhood feels like? You’re trying to do everything, you’re not getting any of it right, but you’re just about scraping through by the skin of your teeth every single day.

In which case rocking motherhood isn’t a state of mind, it’s how much you can pretend to everyone around you that you’re totally fine. Really, honestly, truthfully, totally fine.

For now I have to accept that I am not rocking motherhood, it is rocking me.

At the end of every working day when I collect my kids from nursery I hear about all of the fun things they have been doing, with other people, and feel sad it’s not me playing with them.

When I see colleagues have been nominated for/won awards for their incredible work, I know that will never be me, because I just don’t have the time to put in the groundwork needed to be put forward for industry accolades.

I look at pictures of other people’s stunning homes on Instagram, with their bright feature walls, quirky artwork, open-plan living space and pretty throw cushions, and I know that my house would have an interior decorator running away in tears – or rubbing their hands with glee at the thought of how much they can charge to sort out this mess.

Me and my other half haven’t had a date night in well over two months and we desperately need it, but have no idea when we can fit it in between the constant colds, work meetings, family commitments and other random s**t that just gets in the way.

When we hear the words “rocking motherhood” it conjures up images of a smiling, beautifully turned out mum. She’s making a joke with her kids, baring her perfect, white teeth, and has not one stain on her white T-shirt.

But I call bulls**t, because nobody’s life looks like that. Unless you line up the camera at precisely the right milli-second, because we all know everything would go to hell within a few seconds. Someone would cry, be sick or have an accident, and that perfect smile would drop. It’s back to the grind, the grind that we are all living regardless of our situation.

So what does it take to “rock motherhood”? I believe it actually is a state of mind, despite my previous words above. It is probably only achieved when you reach a stage of giving zero s**ts about what others think or say.

Let’s help each other to rock motherhood, by telling one fellow mama she’s doing a f**king amazing job this week. If we say it to each other enough, we should start to believe it.

V

x

Please share the love:
Follow:

27 Comments

  1. February 7, 2018 / 8:11 am

    I remember my first weekend away and leaving my two babies with my sister. She turned up looking glam and I left with yogurt dribble on my shoulder and un-ironed clothes on. When we got back, I looked more refreshed but my poor sister looked like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards. That was how I knew she’d done a good job. The kids looked so happy but the house and my sister looked worse for wear haha x

  2. February 7, 2018 / 8:18 am

    I think every mother is rocking it, maybe not every single minute but the big picture is there! #fortheloveofBLOG

  3. February 7, 2018 / 9:00 am

    Oh the joys of the ideal world that most can not achieve so long as you are happy in your family bubble you are rocking it #FortheloveofBlog

  4. Tracey Abrahams
    February 7, 2018 / 9:26 am

    I think you’re rocking the mum thing. As long as your kids are fed, clean(ish) and happy(ish) youre doing great. #fortheloveofblog

  5. February 7, 2018 / 10:50 am

    As long as you’re getting to work / school on time(ish), everyone is happy, well fed, clean, the house doesn’t look like a complete disaster zone and the cat has fresh water and kibbles then you’re doing okay. Anything else is a bonus!

  6. February 7, 2018 / 10:55 am

    Sounds like you are rocking motherhood, I could have written of similar experiences and I like to think i’m rocking motherhood as well…hopefully lol #fortheloveofblog

  7. February 7, 2018 / 11:22 am

    You so living a normal life called “motherhood” – that’s my reality and although my kids are bigger and it gets better – fact is the craziness then shifts to other things. Finding myself juggling my time between picking girls up from sporting activities, involved in homework, running the household and still making time for my husband. My husband is in a similar situation and we scramble for time. I suppose we will only hit a normal life again when the kids are 18 and off to university.#fortheloveofBLOG

  8. Jenny Curtis
    February 7, 2018 / 11:49 am

    Agree completely with the other commenters, if your kids are happy then you are definitely rocking motherhood! No shame with having the TV on all day or using freezer food- everyone will be doing the same 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

  9. February 7, 2018 / 12:58 pm

    They’re alive and your home won’t be on any scary hoarder show so yeah that’s rocking it. Well in my book anyway. #fortheloveofBLOG

  10. February 7, 2018 / 1:21 pm

    some days are great….and others we limp through. It is tough. Rock the good days and learn from the bad days. #fortheloveofblog

  11. February 7, 2018 / 4:12 pm

    My husband and I work full time and have our baby in day care. The days when everyone is healthy-ish and gets to where they need to be on time, have a roof over their head, and food on the table, it’s a successful day in the mom world! Thanks for sharing!
    #ForTheLoveofBlog

  12. February 7, 2018 / 8:38 pm

    I needed to read this today- thankyou! You’ve helped keep me sane! #fortheloveofblog

  13. February 7, 2018 / 9:57 pm

    At the teen end of the spectrum, rocking motherhood means stopping them go drinking in the park, having them home for dinner at least 3 times a week and possibly still talking to you. It has nothing to do with actually having fun. Maybe translate that into a toddler version. #FortheloveofBLOG

  14. Alice Letters to my Daughter
    February 7, 2018 / 10:04 pm

    Woo yeah! You sound just like me. I’m currently perched on the only clear bit of sofa, surrounded by toolboxes, post, discarded clothes, Dee’s dinner that she ‘ate’ on the sofa whilst watching YouTube on the iPad… (in fact, I bribed her to eat one bit of broccoli with the promise of a strawberry and chocolate…urrgh). We’re surviving though. Sounds like you’re doing a great job 🙂 #fortheloveofBLOG

  15. February 8, 2018 / 5:17 am

    I’m so sick of illnesses right now! I think your right, rocking motherhood is surviving! the housework will have to wait. #ForTheLoveofBlog

  16. February 9, 2018 / 7:26 am

    Fantastic post an one that i can wholeheartedly relate too! Life can literally pull us in several directions and can often feel like we are loosing our s**t! Thanks for sharing so that those of us who my feel like this don’t feel alone! #fortheloveofblog

  17. February 9, 2018 / 9:56 am

    as long as your child is happy, fed, loved and cared for… rocking motherhood is officially complete. Who gives a crap how long it took them to eat one measly bit of toast or how many episodes or paw patrol you had to watch to get them to do something. Noone knows how hard it is until they experience it!! #fortheloveofBLOG

  18. February 9, 2018 / 3:40 pm

    Sounds like you are rocking motherhood! Definitely feel it IS state of mind. Life is not perfect and balancing it all is tough. If I didn’t have netflix so my little can watch Goldie or Sofia the 1st while I get housework done, I would loose my mind! LOL #fortheloveofblog

  19. February 9, 2018 / 10:03 pm

    It can be so hard to get everything done, but using the tv etc once in a while in order to get things done won’t do little ones any harm. As long as everyone is fed, safe, thriving and out of harm’s way, then you’re doing a good job #fortheloveofBLOG

  20. February 9, 2018 / 10:20 pm

    Amen to this and every post like it too! It makes us feel better that we are no alone in a lack of perfection and sometimes really questioning whether parenthood is even for us if it was not for the fact we love our children so very much. I could go on and on and on but I am knackered after a day of too much juggling work, business, home education, housework and children who are like me and have so much to say but sadly sometimes I am just too tired to listen properly which really makes me sad. Thank you for writing this post. #fortheloveofblog

  21. February 11, 2018 / 3:46 pm

    This is so true! I find that one day I’m “rocking” motherhood and everything is fine – great even. And then the next day all hell has broke lose and I’m failing miserably! #fortheloveofBLOG

  22. February 12, 2018 / 4:32 pm

    This looks differently depending on who you are I think. We’re all just trying to get on and do what’s best for all. For me a good day is if we’ve got out and about or done lots of craft. #fortheloveofBLOG

  23. February 13, 2018 / 10:59 pm

    Aaaww I couldn’t love this more!!!! Motherhood certainly rocks me more than I do it….and you’re so right so many of our ideas of rocking motherhood are just fantasies in our head. #fortheloveofBLOG

  24. Soffy
    February 19, 2018 / 10:13 am

    One of the BEST blogposts I ever read!!
    We all picture motherhood as this perfect happy thing but you know what it’s not!! Thank you for this honest post, I really think it’s help a lot of parents out there who think they are not ‘picture perfect’ #BlogCrush

    Soffy // themumaffairs.blogspot.com

  25. February 20, 2018 / 8:59 am

    Yup there are a lot of fake ideas about motherhood out there, and a lot of standards we will never meet (because no-one does in reality), but we keep going anyway and keep trying, because that’s what motherhood is really about.

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

Leave a Reply