Forget Iron Man, Captain America, the Black Widow, Wonder Woman and Batman, mamas are the true super beings on this planet!
We may no longer have the brain power to understand the Marvel universe – how many franchises/crossovers are there now? – but we have more powers than all of the Avengers combined.
These are the super powers we possess:
1. Superhuman strength
Despite having been through hours and hours of labour, we can then power through with lifting a baby up and down a hundred times a day, being awake all night, lugging around heavy buggies and car seats, and withstanding a million tonnes of pressure.
Plus don’t forget it takes a lot of strong willpower to get through the major overhaul of becoming a mama. Strong? Hell yes!
Take that Superman!
2. We can read minds
Babies cannot speak, and yet at some point we gain the ability to know what they want despite them not actually saying the words.
3. The power to predict the future
As a parent you have to think at least two steps ahead of everything. When looking around a room you need to assess what hazards/breakable items your child is likely to zero in on first.
You know your toddler is going to make a beeline for the tray of biscuits and expensive-looking tea set before they’ve even spotted it.
4. Superhuman speed
No one moves faster than a mother who has seen a child wielding a black marker pen heading for the white sofa.
5. The ability to do more than one thing at a time
I realise that in the superhero comic book universe at least, this isn’t a super power.
But I think Octo-Woman could be an amazing superhero. She moves as if she has more than two arms, changing nappies, doing the dishes, filing a report to work and averting multiple disasters without breaking a sweat
6. More than one pair of eyes
You need eyes in the back of your head to handle the naughty antics of kids! Parents definitely posses more than one pair.
7. We own a Tardis
Well it’s not exactly a Tardis, but it is totally bottomless!
Changing bags and handbags need to be huge to handle all the nappies, wipes, changes of clothes, toys, lunch, drinks and other stuff we have to cart around with us every day.
8. Powers of deduction
We don’t need to have witnessed the event to know who was responsible for pushing who.
9. Super healing powers
With just one kiss we can make everything better. That’s better than any magic Doctor Strange can perform.
10. Super hearing
This is most important for when attempting to carry out a conversation or task in a different room to your kids.
If you hear general chatter, all is well. If it all goes quiet, you need to investigate immediately.
11. Strong stomach
How else can we face an army of dirty nappies and emerge triumphant at the end of every day?
12. Super imagination
We can conjure up an entire world of our own imagination in just a few minutes. We are an elephant, a horse, a bee, a frog, a fairy, anything our kid wants us to be!
13. The death stare
It might not bring about actual death, it’s more of an “I’m deadly serious” stare used when our words and tone aren’t quite getting the kids’ attention. Works every time.
Any superhero powers you have developed since having kids? Let me know what they are!